" This is my wish" beautiful
A new year is starting and on the 14th of this month, I am going in for a biopsy. They have found a 9mm lesion on the right breast. Am I concerned, worried about the big C? No. but it does bring questions to mind, I am concerned.
I am 55, most of my life I have not been very active and overweight. Raised in a farming community, where everyone eats meat, usually a couple of times a day. On my own I realized that I really didn't like meat. Physically I feel better eating fish and more veggies and fruit. Drinking almond and soya milk, as even as a child I had problems with dairy.
Concerned about what would happen to my children if I wasn't here? I have five sisters so they would have support and love but it is still fearful. I want to see my grandchildren get married. I want to enjoy my life, travel and be happy, I want to be alive.
I have wasted much time in front of the television like most people, isolate and become depressed. On meds and unsure of what or how I will feel from one day to the next. In a fog, unsure of what I want at times, but knowing I want more, I want to be happier, healthier so what is stopping me?
I have always believed God takes each of us in his timing. It is not up to me when or how I go but the quality of my life is my responsibility.
Most of my life I have been there for others, over extending myself and then I drop out of the picture. I get over whelmed, scared and just don't want to be there. I can't deal with it. I have so much in my own family of 8 siblings there is always something going on. Getting the shingles, the pain, unable to do and be who I was before. I lost so much, my job, freedom, dreams.
It's all about our attitude and staying positive. Becoming stronger and having faith, loving ourselves a little bit more everyday.
