I see a reflection of myself and I wonder who this woman is?
Where did she come from? How could I have let this happen? Why? Is there hope,
can I start again? I am afraid of my mind, my body, my life.Where do I start? Can I start?
Others have gone their whole life and nothing changes, I’m
sure they want things better and have asked the same questions.Some seem to just take a different path and it is like a
wand has been woven and their lives have been transformed. Where is that want I
want it, I need it.
The answers are here somewhere in me. I know it. The key that opens my mind, my soul
to be the best I can be has to be turned. Can I do it? Am I strong enough? Do I
have the right key? I need to ask myself some hard questions, or am I going to
stay here just a shell of myself. Can I break it open and find the diamond in
me? What is keeping me down? Why am I scared?
I’m at a period in my life when I can see the disappointment
in my children’s eyes. They must wonder and I know they do because they have
told me and asked Why, why do I put up with it
My daughter mostly, I know if I saw her go through the same
struggles I would ask her the same thing. Now I can see she is asking the same
questions as a mother. How much is she willing to put up with? A lot less then
I have. I am proud of this strong woman.
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