Grandma's Chair

What words of wisdom would you have for me today? I sit here remembering you in this very chair, sitting beside you talking about a new life with my husband and daughter and a child on the way. 

Now I sit in my own chair and have my grandchildren around me each day sharing, giving, laughing and crying. What legacy will I leave my children and their children?  If I would have the courage to be real and let down my mask that I put on to protect them from what and who I really am.When I see an old chair and think of the stories that were told by grandmothers, tears that were cried when young children died, abuse, families left them, or alone to be left with their pain their thoughts. 

I can see you cutting out pictures from magazines and newspaper passing time and remembering better days, braiding mats out of bread bags, reading, knitting or writing a letter. Things I wished I would have talked to with her, getting to know her more and spending more time with her are things I often think about.

Times are different now women that are grandmothers are not limited to what they do; many of them have a career, retired but have very active lives. Many have found their voice and remember seeing or hearing their mothers or grandmothers cowering and trying to hide away back in the picture silent feeling incompetent, but somewhere down inside you knew you wanted things different but didn’t have the means and it wasn’t proper.

What memories am I leaving for my legacy for my children? What will they ask about me and think about me? Know I can leave my thoughts in a digital time capsule. For ever online in a blog with my pictures, leaving parts of me so that when they look at themselves they will know me more than I do my mother, grandmother.

Do not forget the love we gave you, the many times we sat silent hurt and knew better but you had to learn for yourself. We need you, love you, where you.  Many times we wish we could go back and do things over, make right some wrongs. Telling ourselves we would be okay and to be stronger.